Momma Got Schooled

fullsizeoutput_b8

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

My words are:

Office ~ great ~ pillows ~ cat ~ hat

They were submitted by: http://www.southernbellecharm.com

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.

If you’ve been following my blog at all then you know that we recently decided to homeschool our son.  We’ve only been doing it since feels like forever January and it’s definitely taken some getting used to on both our parts.  I would definitely say it’s been very positive and I’ve seen so much growth in him already.  I just miss my free time.  A little.  Or maybe a lottle.

I wouldn’t trade this time for anything.  We’ve definitely bonded over this experience and I’m proud to be such a positive influence in my son’s daily learning environment.  The confidence he’s exhibited in his abilities and the leaps and bounds he’s growing both emotionally and mentally just can’t be measured, but…

I am never alone.  NEVER.  Like ever.

And we downsized so now there is even less space for me to never be alone in.  Sometimes, if I’m being honest, it’s a little claustrophobic.  I long for the days when I could walk around the house stark naked eating ice-cream and watching soap operas with absolutely no one around to judge me.  Not that any of those things actually happened…that you can prove anyway…but you get my point.  I knew that sacrifices would be made, and apparently spontaneous nudity and ice-cream bingeing are the proverbial lambs in this scenario.  Anyway, this blog isn’t about my nudity (thank goodness!), it’s about using words in a sentence or a collection of sentences that form, in this case, a blog post.  Words I don’t get to choose.  Much like my son’s weekly spelling assignments in which he has to make sentences out of a few of his spelling words.  This has got to be the worst segue ever but I really struggled with how I was going to use these words, and then this week my son had a spelling assignment and suddenly I knew exactly how I was going to use the words I’d been given!

In his “brick and mortar” school (I’m so down with the home-school lingo), my little man HATED writing.  And reading.  And math.  Ok pretty much everything but recess and lunch.  Now, one of his favorite assignments are turning his spelling words into a paragraphical work of art (his words).  He is supposed to write individual sentences for each word choice, but he’s taken liberties with this assignment and turned his spelling words into a mini 1 to 4 sentence story paragraph.  I let him go with it, because he’s never been this creative when it comes to writing.  He loves to read to me what he comes up with and it’s fun to see him excited about writing and spelling.

In this weeks assignment the words were: trustworthy, desert, competition, dessert, qualify and flame.

“The trustworthy kids were in the desert in a competition for dessert but you had to qualify by putting your foot in a flame!”

I mean genius right?!?!

Ok, here’s another!

The words were: handsome, accountant, minimum, adjectives, blindfold and gentleman

“Once on a dark cold winter day, there was a very handsome gentleman named Lazy Larry.  Lazy Larry was an accountant making minimum wage, even though he also studies the art of amazing, awesome adjectives and before he sleeps each night he puts on a blindfold and that is the end of the story of Lazy Larry.”

And my personal favorite!

The words were: muscle, muscular, customary, quest, principal and principle (spelling danger words (homographs) are so fun!)

“Once there was a very muscular man and even his muscles had muscle and his name was Man, which was customary back then.  He lived in a cave.  He was a caveman on a quest to be the best caveman with the principle to never hurt anyone, either large or small.  Unfortunately, Man served a principal named Guy, also customary. Guy was mean, but Man got to leave on this amazing adventure and was never seen again because there was a meteor.  The end.”

I asked for his help on my words and he respectfully declined.  Apparently, he’s done HIS work for the day and he can’t be responsible for MY work and I shouldn’t have procrastinated.  It really sucks when your kids use your own words against you.

So, in the spirit of channeling my inner 5th grade boy, I present to you my most magnificent paragraphical work of USE MY WORDS art!

My words again are:  Office ~ great ~ pillows ~ cat ~ hat

“In the office of the land’s great seat of power sits a cat, on a stack of pillows because he’s a cat and otherwise wouldn’t be able to see over the desk without it, wearing a hat so tall they had to build a special skylight above the desk to accommodate it’s great size which is fitting for the cat’s great responsibility in the office of the land’s great seat of power.”

Clearly, my son comes by his gifts naturally.  So I read my work of genius to him and I got…silence.  Nothing but silence.  Then he says, maybe I should help you.  And pats me gently on the back, shaking his head sadly.

He tells me to sit and he’ll show me how it’s done…

Here is his contribution:

“The amazing office with the great pillows had a grand cat but an odd cat.  This cat was wearing a hat and this cat was called the cat with the hat.”

I mean…  There is a very clear winner here.  Right?

Dr. Seuss either of us are not.  Obviously.

But I still think we both make the grade and the best part of my day is when we get to be silly like this and laugh with each other.  Way better than spontaneous nudity and alone time is overrated.  I’ll cherish these moments forever and ever.  Amen.

(maybe I can join a senior retirement nudist camp in my twilight years…so there’s that)

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts:

Baking In A Tornado                        http://www.bakinginatornado.com

Spatulas on Parade                   http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/

The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver        http://www.thediaryofanalzheimerscaregiver.com/blog.html

Sparkly Poetic Weirdo                        http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com/

On the Border                           http://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/

Bookworm in the Kitchen             http://www.bookwormkitchen.com/

The Bergham Chronicles                  http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com

Simply Shannon                           http://shannonbutler.org

Southern Belle Charm                    http://www.southernbellecharm.com

The Angrivated Mom                      http://www.angrivatedmom.wordpress.com/

Climaxed                                      http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com

Not That Sarah Michelle                 http://notthatsarahmichelle.blogspot.com

Make A Wish

fullsizeoutput_80f

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 14 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

My “Secret Subject” is: 

You’re minding your own business, out for a walk in the lovely Spring weather. You run into a magical bunny. As you’re scratching behind his ears, he says to you… In gratitude for the lovely ear scratching, I’m granting you three wishes for yourself, and an additional wish that must benefit someone other than yourself. 

What are your four wishes?!  

It was submitted by: http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com

My favorite TV show growing up was definitely “I Dream of Jeannie”.  I fantasized often about finding a genie bottle on the beach and being granted 3 wishes.  The wishes themselves have changed over the years though.  I will admit, in my fantasies, my genie never looked like this…

fullsizeoutput_a7

It was more this…

man-1806144__480

or even this…

man-1806142__480

Maybe a sexy cartoon Aladdin come to life to rescue me.  I’m not complaining (I mean I am a little), a wish is a wish is a wish, I suppose the vehicle of a wishes deliverance matters not.  Just to be clear, wishing that my wish-giver was hot and half-naked is not my 1st wish.  I’m just thinking out loud.

(3 hours later)

Who knew thinking of 4 wishes could be so difficult.  I don’t want to squander them.  When wishing for things, I tend to be short-sighted.  I’m probably way overthinking it.  Eggs sound really good right now.  Maybe I’ll go eat breakfast and mull it over.  I make better decisions on a full stomach.  I’d hate to wish for a house made of chocolate because I’m starving and it’s shark week (that time of the month).  These are the kind of rash decisions I need to avoid.  So eggs.  More coffee.  Then wishes.

(2 days later)

So, those were some really good eggs.  And I got distracted by life.  And I still don’t know what my wishes should be.  When I got my topic, I thought it would be so easy peasy.  Yeah…not so much.  Thinking of one wish leads me to another wish which lead to an even better wish which reminds me of my initial wish.  It’s enough to make a girl dizzy and confused.  I really need to wash my sheets.  BRB.

(5 days later)

So…this post and these wishes may never get made.  I’m no closer today than I was a week ago to narrowing down these wishes (hashtag firstworldproblems – amirite?) You know what helps me think?  Chick-Fil-A!  I know what you’re thinking, just another diversion, but no really, nothing beats Chick-Fil-A when I need to get the brain juices flowing.

(6 hours later)

Also, Chick-Fil-A makes me full which makes me long for a nap which totally happened.  Then I started watching Scandal, and OHMYHUCK…  I won’t elaborate in case no one reading this actually watches Scandal, and I don’t want to be accused of rambling…  Oh wait…too late.  Sigh.

All is not completely lost, I do have good news.  While ordering at Chick-Fil-A, I did come up with one wish!  I know!!!!  So exciting, that food is magical, I’m telling you.  Why is it though that I usually only crave it on Sunday and it’s CLOSED?!?!?!?!  Oops sorry, veering off track again.  It happens.  I’m kinda hungry again, but I’m going to finish out this wish first, I promise.  I won’t leave you hanging.

So, I’m in the forever long line that is the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru seriously considering blowing my first wish on instant gratification, but I reign myself in just in time.  I finally get up to the window and holy hotness batman, the cashier/order guy is hot.  Not little boy hot and by little boy I mean high school age and not that I notice hot high school boys or ever drive slowly by high schools as football players are running around topless, but I mean really, boys did not look like that when I was 18.  It hardly seems fair.  ANYWAY, no this guy is like old.  And by old, I mean late 20’s, early 30’s?  My eyes are eye level with the best looking backside I have ever seen.  I mean…is it hot in here?  I need a fan.  I can’t stop staring.  Then I look up and he’s staring at me.  I’m thinking, “oh shit did he notice I was totally checking out his ass?”  Why is he staring?  Why am I smiling like this?  I look deranged.  My lips have disappeared.  Did I brush my teeth today?  Maybe he’s noticed the coffee stain on my shirt?  Or the fact that I left the house without a bra on and quite frankly THAT should NEVER happen.  My reasoning was that I wasn’t getting out of the car, but it’s very awkward to have to pick up your boobs so as not to accidentally buckle them into the lap belt portion of your seat belt.  You think I’m joking…  And now you have a weird visual…sorry, go back to hot butt not in high school Chick-Fil-A guy.  Breathe.  In and out.  In and out.  Visual gone?  Whew.  Then I realize he’s asking me if I want any sauce.  Is it wrong that I thought of this movie line in “Wayne’s World?”

Yeah, I know…all kinds of wrong.  Sorry not sorry.  If anyone could ruin a perfectly good topic like being on the receiving end of 4 anything you want wishes…it’s me.  Now that I’ve taken you places you never ever wanted to go and from which you may never recover, let’s FINALLY get to my first wish.

WISH ONE

I wish for the boobs of my youth.  Vain?  Yes.  Shallow?  Yes.  Necessary?  Absolutely.  I want perky.  I want to be able to leave my house without a bra occasionally and not horrify a nation.  I don’t want surgery or drainage bags or future ruptures or dots and lines drawn all over my chest by a plastic surgeon that does NOT look like McSteamy from Grey’s Anatomy and has cold fish-like hands.  I want beautiful boobs.  I want boobs I don’t have to scoop up to fit inside my bra cup.  I want boobs that don’t fall into my armpit when I lie down.  I want boobs that don’t peak out from the bottom of my t-shirt…that hangs down to my knees.  Forget about the pencil test, I could hold a set of 120 colored pencils under each breast.  Now that you’ll never be able to look me in the eye again…let’s move on.  I think I’ve exhausted this topic.

WISH TWO

Coming up with one wish was exhausting and terrifying.  I’m depleted.  Can my 2nd wish be unlimited wishes?  I mean, the only rule was that at least one of my wishes be for someone else.  Is there a wishing rule book?  I need the facts!  I can’t work under these conditions.  I have to understand the RULES.  I’m assuming I can’t wish for unlimited wishes because that feels like cheating, then again it’s my blog, my post and maybe the rule is that you can make your own rules?  This level of thinking this early in the morning hurts my brain.  Honestly, I bet the wishing genie bunny wants to punch me in the face right now.  I bet he’s sorry he stopped for me.

The truth is I feel like I’ve got everything I could ever possibly want.  I’ve got an amazing husband, the world’s greatest children.  I’ve been blessed with a family that supports and loves me.  I’ve been blessed with 4 healthy and beautiful children.  While my life is never perfect and comes with it’s fair share of challenges, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  I wouldn’t wish for it to be any different.  I love my life.  I love my family.  It’s perfectly imperfectly tailor made just for me, and I wouldn’t change a thing.  Not one thing.  Well…

I still want the boobs though.  I’m not giving up that wish.

WISH FOR ANOTHER

This one is easy.  I wish that my son passes the STAAR test the FIRST time.  We pulled him out of a brick and mortar school in January, which is another blog post entirely that I’ll get to eventually.  We decided to homeschool him, but I stuck with public online schooling because I just didn’t know enough about homeschooling to feel I could completely tackle it on my own.  It’s been an amazing and positive experience thus far and I have no regrets.  The only downside is that he still has to pass the STAAR test to continue on to 6th grade.  He’s come a long way in just a few short months, but he still has some catching up to do.  I pray and hope that what we’ve been able to accomplish in these last 2 months has been enough to pass him.  We are proud of him no matter what, because I know how hard he’s been working, but if he passes the 1st time, the boost to his confidence…well it just can’t be measured.  I want that so badly for him.  So that is my 4th and final wish for another.  Please Mr. Genie Bunny grant me this wish.  You can ignore everything else I’ve rambled on about here today, and just make sure my son passes that STAAR test the FIRST time.

Thank you for indulging in my nonsense for what might have felt like an eternity.  Hopefully you made it to the end!  I’ll be sure and let you know how my most important final wish turns out for us (fingers crossed) ❤

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

 

Baking In A Tornado                        http://www.BakingInATornado.com

Spatulas on Parade                   http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/

The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver        http://www.thediaryofanalzheimerscaregiver.com/blog.html

The Lieber Family Blog                     http://thelieberfamily.com

The Bergham Chronicles                  http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com

Bookworm in the Kitchen                 http://www.bookwormkitchen.com/

Never Ever Give Up Hope                 http://batteredhope.blogspot.com

Simply Shannon                             http://shannonbutler.org

Southern Belle Charm                    http://www.southernbellecharm.com

Not That Sarah Michelle                    http://notthatsarahmichelle.blogspot.com

A Little Piece of Peace                       http://little-piece-of-peace.blogspot.com

The Angrivated Mom                         http://www.angrivatedmom.wordpress.com/

Climaxed                                        http://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com

When I Grow Up                              http://kimberlyyavorski.com/whenigrowup/