One Big Happy…

fly

Welcome to a Fly on the Wall group post. Today 12 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house.

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Man-child and I enjoying lunch together at the restaurant where my oldest daughter works.  Man-child’s food basket is lined with a newspaper from Honolulu.

Me:  “That newspaper in your basket is from Honolulu, do you know what state that’s in?”

Man-child ponders.

Me:  “I’ll give you a hint.  The state starts with an H.”

Man-child: “Hollywood?”

Me:  “Hollywood?!  No, Hollywood is not a state, it’s in California. Hollywood?  Really?”

Man-child sighs.  Man-child giggles.

Man-child: “I know.  HAWAII!”

I sigh.

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Car Ride:

Man-child:  “So, mom?”

Me:  “Yes?”

Man-child:  “Who would win between Pelé and David Beckham?”

Me:  “Pretty sure you said Pelé’s name wrong.”

Man-child:  “No, I didn’t. Who would win?”

Man-child:  “Mom!”

Me:  “I don’t know, win what?”

Man-child face palms.

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I’m trying to get ready for a night out with the hubs.  Our daughter Emily has agreed to babysit.  My phone buzzes…incessantly

Emily:  On my way

Man-child:  Why do I have a thing called group

Emily: It’s a group chat

Man-child: Ok but why do I have it and how did I get it

Emily: Because I started a group chat with you, me and mom

Man-child:  But how

Emily: OMG

Man-child:  What

Emily:  I’ll explain when I pick you up or ask mom

Me:  lol I’m trying to get ready

Man-child:  I know

Emily:  I think she was telling me not you

Man-child:  Ok can you stop texting me plz

Emily: No

Man-child:  Why

Emily: Why don’t you want to text me, don’t you love me

Man-child:  I am watching YouTube

Emily:  You always watch YouTube

Man-child:  I know

Emily:  You never text me

Man-child:  I know by I like YouTube

Emily:  You don’t like texting me?

Man-child:  Talk later? Bey bye

(meanwhile I am trying to ignore the constant buzzing of my phone)

Emily:  Did you just send me an auto response

Man-child:  No

Emily:  Guess I might rethink this whole taking you to dinner thing

Man-child:  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Emily:  Since you like YouTube more than your own blood

Man-child:  I like you more than YouTube and mom and dad

Emily:  That’s what I thought (kissing emoji)

Emily:  Who’s your favorite sis?

Man-child:  I am not telling you plz stop texting me

Emily:  Not until you tell me

Me:  Wait! You like Emily more than me?!?!?!?!?!?!!??! (angry face emoji)

Man-child:  NO

Emily:  THAT’S WHAT U SAID

Emily:  DID YOU LIR

Emily:  *LIE

Man-child:  it is equal to all

Me:  Omg I have to get ready, go to dinner!

Man-child:  NOW PLZ STOP TEXTING ME

Me:  GO TO DINNER!

Man-child:  Ok

Man-child:  Hi Emily

They are texting each other now in the same house.  I am about to lose my mind.

Emily:  LEGGOOO

Man-child:  DO NOT TOUCH

Man-child: CHILLYS (his restaurant choice, misspelled)

And that’s what a group text looks like with a ten year old, a 19 year old and a tired mother

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Same Car Ride:  Minutes Later

Man-child:  “So, mom?”

Man-child:  “Mom?”

Man-child:  “MOM?!”

Me:  “What?”

Man-child:  “So, who would win between Dirk Nowitzki and Kobe Bryant?”

Me:  “I don’t know.”

Man-child:  “You have to pick one.”

Me:  “Fine.  Dirk.”

Man-child:  “You’re right.”

Me:  “I usually am.”

Man-child:  “Sure you are, mom.”

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Emily:  “Mom were you aware my brother has an Eminem song on his iPod?”

Me:  “Yeah, I gave him permission.”

Emily:  “Mom, it’s got explicit lyrics.”

Me:  “No, it said “E” for everyone.”

Silence in the car.

Emily:  “Mom, just no.  E is not for everyone.  It’s for Explicit.”

Me:  “What?  No?  Really?”

Emily:  “OMG mom, I’m putting this on FaceBook.”

For the record, all these ratings should be the same!  Video games, movies and music!

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Still In The Car…

Man-child:  “So, mom?”

Me:  “Yes?”

Man-child:  “Who would win between Tony Romo and Tom Brady?”

Me:  “I’m not answering that.”

Man-child:  “Why?”

Me:  “Romo just sucks but Brady is the anti-Christ, so lose-lose.”

Man-child:  “Wait, what?  What’s anti-Christ?”

Me:  “No one wins, they both lose.”

Man-child:  “They both can’t lose mom.”

Me:  Sighs

Man-child:  Sighs

Man-child:  “I’m a Seattle Seahawks fan now.”

Me: “What? No, you have to root for the home team.  You can’t be a fair weather fan.  It’s the Cowboys or Bust.”

Man-child:  “I don’t know what that means.  But I’m a Seahawks fan. I’ve decided.”

Me:  “You never even visited Seattle!  You like the Cowboys!”

Man-child:  “Ok, I like the Patriots.”

Me:  “Ok, you can like the Seahawks.”

Man-child:  “Thank you.”

Me:  Sigh

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Man-child:  “Mom, why are those signs everywhere?”

Me:  “What signs?”

Man-child:  “The signs for Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton and lots of other people.”

Me:  “Oh, it’s an election year.  They are all people running for an office.  We get a new President this year.”

Man-child:  “Mom, if Donald Trump wins, we should move to Canada.”

Me:  “Has your dad been ranting again?”

Man-child:  “One problem.”

Me:  “What’s that?”

Man-child:  “I don’t speak Canadian.”

Me:  Sigh

Man-child:  “Mom is England in the United States?”

Me:  “What? No. Are you serious?”

Man-child:  “I want to be in the Geography Bee next year.”

Me:  “Yeah, you get right on that.”

Man-child:  “Wow, that doesn’t sound very supportive.”

Me:  Sigh

Man-child:  Sigh

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Longest Car Ride EVER:

Man-child:  “So, mom?”

Me:  “What.”

Man-child:  “Who would win between Batman and Superman?”

Me:  “Superman.”

Man-child:  “No way mom.  Come on now.  I gave you an easy one this time.”

Me:  Sigh

Man-child:  shakes head

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Man-child:  “What’s for dinner?”

Me:  “Chicken with pasta and a white sauce.  You’ll like it.”

(Chicken Tetrazzini, but if I say that, he’ll never eat it.  I am forced to break it down into things I know he likes)

Man-child:  “Of course I will.  I love your cooking.”

Me:  looks over sharply detecting sarcasm

Man-child:  looks innocent

Me:  “Mmmhmm.”

Man-child:  “What?  I do!”

Me:  “Sure you do.” oozing sarcasm

Man-child:  “Mom, are you bringing up the BBQ sauce incident again? You need to let that go.”

Me:  “Never.”

A week or so earlier, I fixed BBQ chicken thinking it was an easy victory.  He loves BBQ chicken!  He’s not eating his BBQ chicken.  Why isn’t he eating his BBQ chicken?!

Man-child:  “I don’t like BBQ.”

Me:  “SINCE WHEN?!?!”

Man-child:  “Well, I only like McDonald’s BBQ sauce.”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!??!

He’s killing me, this kid.

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Our two oldest daughters moved out last summer and currently live together in an apartment.  They surprised us on Monday with news.  Apparently, I am now a grandma.  Of a furbaby. Which they adopted.

My response:  “You did what?!?  WHY!??!  WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!”

My husbands response to me:  “Did you hear what they did!??! WHY!!?!?  WHAT WERE THEY THINKING!??!”

Kids response:  “Why can’t you be supportive?”

unsupportive: the word your kids use when as parents you don’t agree with their choices

So this is me being “supportive,” taking my new grandchild to PetSmart to shop for treats and a collar.  She’s terrified of everything, but too big to carry around, she rides in a cart quite nicely though.  People took photos.  We’re probably internet famous.

Muttering under my breath:  “tell me I’m not supportive…”

She is very sweet.  But still…A DOG?!

IMG_0090

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STILL DRIVING!

Man-child:  “So, mom?”

Man-child:  “Mom?”

Man-child:  “Mom!?”

Me:  “WHAT?!?!?!”

Man-child:  “I love you.”

Me:  Sigh

Man-child:  giggles

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Family Birthday Dinner photo: Something is a little off…

IMG_0096

 

Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com

http://www.menopausalmom.com/

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com

http://www.gomamao.com

http://dinoheromommy.com/

http://notthatsarahmichelle.blogspot.com

http://www.southernbellecharm.com

HAVE AN AMAZING WEEKEND! ❤

 

14 thoughts on “One Big Happy…

  1. Your car trips sound a lot like my car trips. I have gotten to the point now that unless my daughter yells my name I tune her out. We have lots of one sided conversations where she babbles on and I just mumble every now and again. It helps the time to drag.

  2. I literally had the Batman vs Superman debate just this weekend. Sorry to say, but our consensus was Batman would win. The previews for the movie look amazing, though! I can’t wait.

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