Guess what time it is?!?! It’s time for the Secret Subject Swap: 2nd Edition and it’s bigger than ever! This time twenty brave bloggers participated and today is our big reveal!
This fun post idea comes from my friend Baking in a Tornado. We both do our best to survive Kids: The Teenage Years. The only difference is that she bakes to cope and I eat to cope…sounds like a friendship made in heaven!
I waited in breathless anticipation for the subject of my swap to arrive in my inbox. I was nervous and excited about this challenge. Nervous that it might take me out of my comfort zone or I would draw a complete blank and post a hot mess of awkwardness. Excited because I love a challenge, and as a self-proclaimed writer, I never want to stop stretching my creative muscle.
Imagine my excitement when I opened by e-mail to find the topic of my angst sitting in the top spot complete with flashing strobe lights and confetti!
My topic: “My Biggest Pet Peeve”
This. Is. Awesome. I am peeved by so many things! Peeving is like my hobby! I started making a list right away, and it went on and on. And on. And on. I get annoyed so easily, this is the perfect topic for me! I was born to write it! And do you know what’s even better? The topic came from the awesome Sorry Kid, Your Mom Doesn’t Play Well With Others. The title of her blog suggests all the reasons I love her! She has the best sense of humor and the funniest family I’ve ever read about. She makes me wish she was a reality TV show or my next-door neighbor. Seriously, read her blog. You will laugh until you cry. I totally imagined discussing our pet peeves over a few beers and laughing until we pee ourselves.
The only difficulty I faced was deciding what qualified as my BIGGEST pet peeve. An intense battle was waged inside my mind as the peeves faced off against each other fighting for dominance and control. In other news, my “Adam Levine Diet Cleanse” (the diet I began on November 1st which will turn me into a stunning super model before I attend the Maroon 5 concert next March where Adam Levine will find himself mesmerized by my captivating smile, flawless beauty and stunning figure only to be devastated when he finds out I’m happily married with 4 kids, yet still he will pursue me until the end of time, never marrying another, pining for me until his last breath) started creating an epic bodily drought which forced my peeves to stage their very own “Hunger Games.” The Crimson Goddess reared her ugly head and threw mayhem and murderous rage into the mix. Shit got real. However, one peeve emerged as champion…
MY BIGGEST PET PEEVE WINNER:
FACEBOOK/TWITTER POLITICAL POSTS/RANTS
- Nothing brings out the stupid like political campaigns. If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say they were moving to Canada if so and so wins the election, I could buy Canada. Trust me people, right now Canada is tightening their borders and trying to figure out effective measures to combat an infestation of stupid. Just in case these are more than idle threats. Mark Twain said, “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt.” People on Facebook and Twitter would do well to remember this and act accordingly. If you want to discuss my political views, invite me to dinner, serve a nice Chianti and let’s discourse and debate. Intelligently. With actual facts. Listen up people, here is your public service announcement for the day, just because it’s written on an e-card or a meme doesn’t make it true. Posting it on Facebook or Twitter just allows you to fist pump and chest bump people who already agree with you and makes everyone else mute you. The only thing worse than stupid is ignorance, and there’s plenty of that to go around! I fail to understand these personal nuclear attacks that are being launched on both sides. Whichever candidate has the cleanest dirt wins? Is that the message? Be smart people! Just because you read it on the internet doesn’t make it true! Just because it fits your personal narrative doesn’t make it factual. As Gandhi said, “Be the change in the world you want to see.” Based on some of the comments/posts/commentary I’ve seen, I’m pretty certain the zombie apocalypse is already here. November 7th can’t get here soon enough, then I guess we will see if riots break out or half the population tries to migrate to Canada. It’s enough to drive you crazy, and I was already half-way there.
Man-child and I discuss politics:
Man-child: “Mommy did you hear the news?”
Me: “What news?”
Man-child: “Obama won the president.”
Me: “You mean he won the election to be President?”
Man-child: “yeah, that.”
Me: “Well, no actually the election isn’t over yet. Unfortunately we still have a few weeks before voting closes.”
Man-child: “nuh-uh. He won.”
Me: “Where did you hear this?”
True story. Nickelodeon let the kids vote online for President. Sadly this is probably the most intelligent conversation about the election that’s been posted on the internet lately.
I’ll leave you with this thought:
and another personal favorite:
Now, who wants to go out with me on November 7th and drink to celebrate the end of this election! Drinks on me, and I don’t care which candidate you picked!
Check out the other awesome bloggers that participated in this challenge!