Burn Notice: Day 4 – She Said/He Said Saga Continues

Let the vacation saga continue….  I’ve got a 5 day weekend coming up, taking a few days off work.  My plan is to catch up on my blogging challenge, and be awesome and hilarious while doing it.  That’s the plan anyway.  Which means it won’t happen.  Naturally.  It’s Homecoming weekend.  Will we survive?

She Drinks and Truths: Day 4

Momma got drunk.

Let me rewind a bit to earlier in the day, or the middle of the night rather.

So, man-child wakes up crying.  He feels feverish, so I am freaking out because naturally, I forgot to pack Motrin, Tylenol or any fever-reducing pain medication.  I put him into bed with Daddy, and after seeing he is settled in, I crawl into his bed.  A bed, which by the way, was too small for me, not that it matters…I’ll be up all night fretting over every possible sick scenario from ear infections from the ocean water to strep throat to malaria (yes malaria) and what we will do if his fever spikes to dangerous levels, because we have NO CAR!!!!!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  Would daddy dearest run to the local Circle K?  It’s only a few miles…in the middle of the night.  Maybe if I bribe him with coffee…?  I am getting a headache from trying to strain my eyes to see to the back of the RV to see if little man is sleeping or not.  Then I toss and turn, worrying every scenario to death and praying fervently that everything will be okay.

Finally, dawn arrives.  I wake up to the dulcet sounds of little man driving everyone crazy again.  Yes!  Life is good.  Everything is back to normal.  Thank you, God.

AND….our rental car has arrived!!!!  Woo hoo!!!  Now we can spread our fun over the entire coast!

The hubby takes the car to get his precious coffee.  And for all you haters out there that sympathized with his addiction, when we get back I’m sending you all on a road trip together with him!  And another thing, yes there are things I love, like, admire and adore about my husband.  I plan on borrowing an idea from another blogger this weekend and posting the ABC’s of why I love my husband.  HOWEVER, there is a hulking figure that follows him everywhere he goes…his EGO.  He is better equipped than most to handle my snark, so don’t go feeling all sorry for him, or thinking I’m a man-basher.  Yes, even he will admit this is true, and has even discussed the gravitational pull of reflective surfaces. 
He married me for the express purpose that I keep him humble.  Believe me, no one else could put up with him like I do or vice versa.  SOOOOO there!

Whew.  I needed to get that off my chest.  Moving on now…  Where was I?

Oh yes, so we load up our nice rental car (no seriously it really is nice) and head down to the beach.  This beach is even prettier and better than the last one, so we are all in heaven.  And before we headed to the beach, we stocked up at Wal-Mart with chairs, an umbrella, snacks and loaded up the cooler with beverages.

There was one terrifying moment when I lost man-child.  In the waves.  As he was pulled under.  With no life vest or other life-saving flotation devices.  I felt like a momma tigress fighting through that undertow to reclaim my son!  He finally surfaces after what looked like a whirlpool sucking him under, and I yank him up and immediately sooth him as he belches from his toes and gags (I’ll admit I did kinda offer up a prayer that he not throw up on me).  Then daddy came out (finally, what the heck!) and took him back to our mini beach camp.  A few minutes later, little man was back out shaking his fist and screaming at the waves.  Ok there tough guy.  Meanwhile, mom sank down into a puddled heap and almost wept from relief.

We decide finally we’ve had enough, so we head back to our little home away from home.  Shower, change and head down to the Harbor Walk Village, which is this quaint little shopping mecca with everything from designer clothes, to live birds, to fish-gutting.  We ate at this restaurant called Harry T’s.  It was scrumptious, and yes for the first time all vacation we broke our vegetarian rule.  Couldn’t be helped.  When in Rome.  And all that jazz.  I ordered this drink called the big top.

It looked like a fish bowl with sparklers in it and fruit decorating the edges.  This thing was massive.  I drank about a 1/3 of it, and I was tipsy.  Well, ok…drunk.

We had a great time, the girls picked on daddy and man-child was a prince.  Then we got a visit from Giggles the Clown (the scary clown with the smokers cough and the terrifying cackle).

But she said balloon animals and face painting, so man-child was in!  She painted his face like a pirate, and gave him a balloon sword with a holster.  Aye matey, he looked like a right good pirate on the high seas!  She even made daddy a matching sword.  As we were walking around the little village, man-child wanted my mirror, and then he proceeded to walk while staring at himself as we tried to help him navigate since he wasn’t watching where he was going.  He is truly his father in every way 🙂

We headed back to the RV, and all fell exhausted into our tiny little uncomfortable beds (oh, after giving man-child some chewable motrin tablets, we were taking no chances this time).

Oh…and HIS side or whatever: Day 4

This morning I woke up realizing that it was not a dream… at some point my wife was replaced in our bed by my son.  Where is my wife?!?!   Honey?!  Are you here?!  What happened?  Why are you curled up in man-child’s sleeping quarters?    Now before you get too harsh, please realize that when I,  OCD Boy and Captain of the  Worry Wart Extraordinaire Club (a trait which I am obliged to add serves me well in my current job) finally relaxes enough and  falls asleep, I enter into the twilight zone and do not do well waking from this state of mind.  I recall the man-child crying.   I remember something about him running a fever and my wife frantically realizing that we had no over-the-counter medication on board the RV.   (OMG!  I cannot imagine the kind of “what if’s” my wife is cataloging at that particular moment).  There were also the “gentle” kicks in the midsection and kidneys in the middle of the night that I was curious about.   Then, dawn, and my boy snuggling up close and saying, “Daddy— the sun is awake, that means you have to wake up tooooo.”   Some times that boy is too cute for words, and if he was feeling like crap last night, then thanks be to God, his little motor is running fine now and he is ready to go.

First things first, pick up rental motor vehicle.  God shines on us again, and we find a little rental car place right next to the RV Resort.  I walk over and get a new mini-van and head back to get the family… right after I hit up my supplier (Local Circle K) for my morning dosage (Coffee or Manna from heaven, either one works).   We pack up and like any good RV folk would do…WE HEAD OUT TO THE WAL-MART.  .    After an expenditure that can only be described as an economic stimulus payment we load up the mini-van (or the mini rolling turd as I like to call it) and head to the beach.

On the way, I mention that yesterday on my 3.2 mile run down the coastline bike path, I noticed some areas where there was public parking on the beach and also mentioned that it fills up fast so we want or rather NEED to hurry.  Now I mentioned this in Wal-Mart and suggested we hurry.  For some reason, the wife got a little unnerved when I mentioned this again on exiting Wal-Mart.   Seeing her irritation I could only think of the immortal words of Bill Clinton, “What? What did I do?”    Anyway, as it turns out, we find a place to park, a prime spot at the beach and quickly begin to enjoy our day of sun, fun and near drowning events.  Ahhhh.. Good times.    Honestly though, it was a tremendous time and the beach and weather was absolutely idyllic.   Thank you God.

After the beach, we head back to our little slice of heaven on wheels and get cleaned up to head for the Harbor Boardwalk.  It is a quaint little walk way on the bay, waterside that contains shopping and all sorts of stuff to do.  We arrive – after getting a little lost – and the fun begins.  I only want to note a few key highlights for your reading pleasure:

  1. On the way, the wife tells me to stop checking out girls in dental floss outerwear and watch the road.  I, of course explain I was not doing this that I am watching the road and seriously, like she is not checking out guys all this time.  She replies, “…but I am doing that for the girls, it is different.”   OMG!  Did she really just say that!?   Oh, I cannot wait for man-child to get older so I can play this card!  I never knew this exemption existed.
  2. The first thing we do upon arrival is “search” for parking… I will let the reader’s imagination run free at this juncture.  Let us just say that I moved the car after finding a space.
  3. Next we encounter the “bird-man” on the boardwalk.  He has several tropical birds of all sizes and makes money by perching said birds on willing patrons and for a tip will allow a picture to be taken.  So here I go… man-child is in one arm, the other arm has three small birds on it.  I have a large bird on the other shoulder and what can only be described as two small pterodactyl’s on TOP of my head.   Yes I said on top.  The smile and ‘click’!  (of course it takes several unsuccessful clicks by my wife with one camera until she finally switches and takes a pic on the iPhone camera… while I worry about bird crap the whole time)
  4. Finally a nice dinner, face paint and balloon swords.  Good times!

So we head back to the RV, Fat, Happy, Face Painted and all.  Along with silent prayers of thanksgiving that tropical birds don’t crap on patrons.

Next Stop:  Shell Island

4 thoughts on “Burn Notice: Day 4 – She Said/He Said Saga Continues

  1. I’m really enjoying this style of keeping track of the family crazy. It should be required reading for everyone. MBOK, you may kid around, kids, but dear lady and kind gentleman, you love each other madly and it really brings a tear to my eye. Ramble on and blog away. I’m here to enjoy the love. I also have to tell you that being legally blind and having a brain that does whatever mine does (DEFCON 5 anyone) is great. That drink? It looks it’s in something the size of a hammock. No, really. How many people could swim laps comfortably in that thing?

  2. Wow!! Looks like you guys had an amazing time! Thanks for sharing with the awesome pictures! What a great lookin’ family but I think someone’s missing from the pictures =ppp

    The beach sounds fantastic…too bad it bores my dh….>.< I'd love to just sit on the beach and just hear the waves and the wind blow….ahhhhh…

    • Thank you so much! I love the idea of the beach, but the sand in your crack and the sunburns and the stinging ocean salt…yeah, it’s never quite as romantic as it sounds before I get there!

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