Emerald Coast Day 3 – She Said/He Said

Oh my goodness, I am so far behind on my blogging and tweeting and Facebooking.  I feel panic and hysteria, until I remember it’s just blogging, tweeting and Facebooking.  Life happens.  What can you do?  From Thursday to Saturday, I spent more than 60 hours awake which breaks down like this:

16 hours – work

24 hours – marching band activities

1 hour – homecoming dress shopping (found THE dress in the 1st store, God had mercy on my soul!)

remaining hours (because I suck at math) – showering, drinking coffee, shoveling down food, tweeting, Facebooking, blogging, getting dressed, driving, yelling, pulling out hair, staring blankly into space, trying to remember what day it is, trying to remember why I signed up for all this, texting, e-mailing, giving instructions, receiving instructions, losing kids, finding kids and more driving.

I wish I was soaking up rays and listening to the waves crash against the beach on the Emerald Coast right now.  Since I can’t be there, I’ll live vicariously through our vacation.  As soon as I hijack my brain back, I will be blogging new material.  Forgive me.  Don’t desert me.  Hug me (actually don’t…I’m not really a hugger).  Thank you for sticking around!

SHE ALWAYS SPEAKS THE TRUTH: DAY 3

Since inquiring minds want to know, the answer is yes.  We did sleep in the RV on night 2, and the kids slept with no problems.  Every time hubby and I would move, we would smack each other.  I never thought I would hear the day he would say he missed the “Great Wall of China” aka the body pillow nestled snuggly in the middle of our bed at home.  He scoots down the bed as he sleeps, I never knew this.  In a king-size bed at home with “the barrier”, I don’t know what he does over there, and now that I know, I miss my bed more than ever!

Other things I’ve learned about my husband on this vacation.  He’s OCD.  Seriously, are there drugs for this condition?  It started small.  He touches the air conditioning control knob about every couple of minutes.  I know what you are thinking, big deal right?  Well after 16 hours in an RV, that cute little tic starts to take on ginormously annoying significance.  At one point, I snap “the setting on that knob hasn’t changed since we left Dallas, quit touching it!!!!”  To which he replies, “what’s it to you?”  To which I reply, “Your mom!”.  Yeah, I don’t know what that means either, this is just what we’ve been reduced to.  But it’s not just that, let me recap for you:

1) When we stopped at the hotel, he asked if I thought we’d even be able to get a room, after we checked in, he worried aloud about where to park the RV and if it was “allowed”.  Once we parked the RV, he closed every curtain and hid every article not nailed down.  Then he circled the RV 3 times making sure the locks he’d already locked and double checked were locked, while I stand there exhausted, hot and waiting…not patiently.

2) While traveling in the RV: “Did the kids shut the fridge?”  “Did they shut it all the way so the latch catches?” “Did you turn off the water pump?” “Did you say you turned off the water pump?” “What is that noise?” “They aren’t messing with the air controls back there are they?”  In addition to the 5o repetitive and annoying questions, he keeps touching that damn knob.

3) Every time he passes the air conditioning unit, he checks the settings.  Every time he passes the fridge, he checks the settings.  When we went to Hooters, with cars in the parking lot, and a dude on his cell phone, he asks me “do you think they are open?”  OPEN?  Is he serious?  It’s 6pm on a Sunday night.  If I could go 1 hour without someone asking me a pointless stupid question, I would think I had died and gone to heaven.

Last night before crawling into bed he asks me if I think he should check to make sure the suitcase bins are locked.  I couldn’t resist so I said…“I’m sure it will be fine.” (pause) “Of course, if someone’s steals our luggage, you’ll be kicking yourself for not checking” (pause) (insert hubby curse word here: readers choice) and then my giggles as he gets up and goes to check if he locked them.  Ah…good times.

But I digress…  After our first night in the RV, we pack up and head out, Emerald Coast next stop!  Yay!!!  But first we have to do some souvenir shopping, and as luck would have it right down the street is “The Souvenir Shop”, yes that its name!  It’s bright pink, with a big shark busting out the side of the wall. Perfect.  After dropping 100 bucks on cheesy local trinkets, we head back the other way to look for a Starbucks.  Hubby hasn’t had his coffee yet, and that vein in his right temple is starting to pulsate.

Ruh-roh.

We can’t find the Starbucks.  I nervously glance in his direction.  Oh, not good.  Bad idea! I quickly avert my gaze lest he catch me watching him.  I like being alive.

So then he asks if we should just head back to the I-10 and get coffee there somewhere on our way out.  I made the Starbucks suggestion, and have suffered through his angry coffee-deprived outbursts, sullen silences, and irritated mutterings, not to mention “THE VEIN”, I am not making any more suggestions or decisions at this point.  And that’s what I tell him.  Yeah, that didn’t go over well.  Then the first exit off the highway with gas stations offering his personal manna, yeah closed due to construction, next stop 12 miles.  Oh good grief.  He might kill us all.

Next exit, there is what I called a quaint little Exxon station, hubby said something along the lines of “I doubt this dump and the yahoo who runs it even has coffee!” as he slams out of the RV.  I put my headphones on, enough of this business.

Did anyone know that pretty much the entire drive between Mobile and Destin is done over water?  Which means…bridges?  Did I mention my fear of bridges already?

Finally, we arrive at the Geronimo RV Park!  I am happy to report, that we have a concrete slab, and the bathrooms are better than some hotels I’ve stayed at…YAY!!!!  We get all hooked up and head to the beach about 2 blocks away.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  Now this is a beach!!!  We had hours and hours of fun, it was so pretty, and it was good to laugh and relax and enjoy my kids.  Even hubby was able to relax for about 5 minutes without worrying about something and enjoy himself.  He was exceptionally good at body surfing.

Man-child loved it.  He built sand castles, and his sister buried his legs, and he enjoyed the waves crashing around him.

My oldest daughter enjoyed the boys.  At one point the waves crashed into her and she almost lost her bikini top and I think several boys in the vicinity almost got whiplash trying to look.  Poor kids got knocked around silly by giant waves, and I think drank half the ocean water.  At one point after bragging that I hadn’t yet lost my footing, a big wave knocked the wind out of me and smacked me into my youngest daughter, causing her to do a face plant in the water and nearly drown.  Oops…sorry dear.  She got a good laugh though that I finally got swept away.

We finally decide we should head back to the RV.  In case it wasn’t obvious that we aren’t RV folk, the pizza delivery man showed up to deliver our pizza, all the RV’ers who were out grilling and cooking shot my husband dirty looks.  Whatever, haters!

Our rental car will be here in the morning thank goodness.

We are all tucked in, I’m thinking maybe I’ll actually get some sleep when….

Man-child starts to cry….

To be continued….

HE NEVER SPEAKS THE TRUTH: DAY 3

Here we go!  Onto our final and much awaited destination—the Emerald Coast of Destin, FL.

As the wife stated, we did in fact spend the night in the RV our second night out.  The discerning reader will note that I utilized the phrase, “spend the night” and not the descriptive phrase, “we slept in…” to describe this experience.  Why?  Because I would not say that I or my wife actually slept.  The kids, yes they could sleep through a cataclysmic event on most occasions, but me and the wife… no, not so much.    I love going on vacation, don’t get me wrong, but few things are as relaxing too me as our bed at home.   If love makes a house a home… then a big wonderful bed makes it really, really home.

So, onward and forward we go.  Now let me begin by stating that ANYONE who knows me knows one thing.  I am a caffeine addict.   I MUST  have coffee in the morning…first thing, without question.  I do not see this as a fault… it is a fact. “Hello, my name is Jerry, and I am a Caffeine addict.  What? No I don’t have a problem… if I did not NEED it, then it would be a problem… so up yours and get me a coffee, black.  What? No if I wanted cream and sugar with it I would have ask for freaking hot chocolate… now get me a coffee!!!” 

Knowing myself as I do, I try to make arrangements for getting my morning “crack” into the bloodstream before any serious or meaningful interaction with others.  I do this as a courtesy to myself and for mankind in general.   Yesterday upon entering the “Cajun RV Resort” I instinctively notice the Shell gas station right across the street, and like any good crack head make a mental note of my supplier’s location so I can get my fix first thing the next morning when needed.   We wake up, I disconnect the rolling turd from the hookups, (this includes the black and grey water tank purge ceremony, which entails a set of specific prayers – like an exorcism of sorts)  and I start making plans to get my morning fix from the good people at the shell gas station.

That is when my wife states, “But  the girls and I would love some Starbucks and I think I saw one down the street, so can you not just wait?  I want to get on the road!”   I smile, well I fake a smile, mentally marvel at the fact that my soul mate after all this time does not understand the nature of my need for morning coffee, and agree to this plan.   The morning lingers on, and as an hour passes I am still without my go-go juice…NOT GOOD.   A few minutes later the headache starts to set in and I am getting ready to move into a state of serious withdrawal.   I check my watch… past 9:30am… no coffee… Houston we have a PROBLEM.

We finally leave, and set out to find said Starbucks.  Oh, but lest I forget, we also HAD to stop and buy some hokey souvenirs from the Souvenir Shop!!   OMG!    I could have run, literally jogged to the shell station, filled up on coffee and doubled back by the time we were done!!!   The search for Starbucks continues.  After searching and looking all over the place and ticking off several pedestrians, no luck finding Starbucks. Let me add here that driving around small streets is not a good idea for a novice RV driver.    At this point I need to stray, mainly because what happened in the next half hour is a total blur to me.  I recall some degree of yelling, mention of hitting the interstate and finding the closest gas station and then… total darkness. (I liken these little episodes to Bruce Banner turning into the Hulk)  When I woke up, I was pulling in to some rinky-dink Exxon off of I-10 and wondering if Cousin Ted and Uncle Wilbur would even know what Coffee was much less how to make it.  Praise be to God!  They did…  oh the sweet, satisfying warmth of heavenly goodness… I missed you.

We keep on trucking down I-10 and within a few hours arrive at the RV park in Destin.  Now I am not a RV Park expert, but this place is nice and well equipped.  The manager even came out and helped me back into the concrete slab and showed me all around.    Very nice, and comforting to see that some people still understand what customer service really means.

After getting all settled in, we head to the beach and spend several fun-filled hours frolicking in the clear waters of Florida’s finest beaches.   The kids had a blast.   The wife was completely glowing as she played and swam with the kids.  The Man-Child was having a blast, and as a Dad, I realized that it was a moment like this that made it all worthwhile.    Indeed, I am blessed and Life is Good.

Ended the evening playing a rousing game of Mastermind with my youngest daughter.

More to follow…

7 thoughts on “Emerald Coast Day 3 – She Said/He Said

  1. Wow, total confuse-a-what here, MBOK… I’m looking at all your cool pics, saying “wow, this could like, totally be, like my back yard.” I live in Tampa. Gee, what a shockeroo. Shark heads, beaches, water. Neat-o. I also totally love the “Rashomon”-like quality of this. He-said, she-said thing. The only thing bizarre-er-er (if there were such a term) would be if you get the kids in on this and let them have their say, then we can have the true X-Files quality of “Jose Chung From Outer Space,” Season 3 episode, very confusing, hilarious and what??? which is I’m sure what everyone can never have enough of. I myself can never ever have enough confusion.

    Totally great and you all need to come to Tampa. We have Dinosaur World over here. Forget Mauseschwitz; it’s totally plastic. I’m just Dino World is cheese times cheese. Plus we have Busch Gardens. Have fun.

    • Thanks! I’ve thought of having my kids write from their POV’s. I think it would be a blast. They don’t share my level of excitement. lol I’ve been to Tampa, and Busch Gardens…but that was YEARS ago. We’ve never taken the kids, we should though! 🙂

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