1) Lord and Lady R: Apparently there have been some crazy shenanigans while I’ve been gone from work between the couple you might recall from the Day 1 blog. Lord R was in possession of a gun. Yes, a gun people, you read that correctly. And this gun had to be confiscated from Lord R after he threatened to shoot himself because he couldn’t stand to live with THAT woman one minute longer, “I’d rather be dead, or in the hospital, but I can’t put up with her anymore!” Having met her, I take this threat very seriously, and I’m sad for Lord R. I hope they get everything worked out and can move him over to another apartment soon. Prayers for both.
2) My blog yesterday was entitled Burn Notice because we are all quite sunburned. I neglected to mention that fact, although there will be more of that to follow. Apparently, it doesn’t matter how much sunscreen you lather on yourself down here. It’s brutal.
3) I had no idea that my husband wasn’t even fully awake as our son lay next to him wallowing in fever. It is good for him that I didn’t know at the time that I was alone in my worry and terror for little man’s physical health. It’s very good for him. In fact, I actually used my iphone to calculate how long it would take to walk from Destin to home, and it was like 9 days. You’d think it would be longer, I wonder if that’s without sleep…. Hmmmmm. I’d leave him the map, with coffee checkpoints highlighted and circled. Yes, I know, I’m a giver.
4) And I don’t know who my husband thinks he’s kidding, like he needs to wait for Ethan to grow up to check out other women…he does it now, ALL THE TIME. I can’t even tell you how many times he put our life in danger while driving and ogling chicks. He was like a dog with its head hanging out the window, tongue lolling to the side. Excuuuuuuse me for scoping out future husband material to get these girls married off so we can enjoy a relatively early retirement! Far be it from me to think of us and our future happiness!!!! *sigh*
Okay, on to Day 5. We departed this morning for Shell Island, located off Panama City Beach. We drove an hour to get to Andrew’s State Park, only to board a rickety bus with 40 other passengers and loaded down with our chairs, towels, umbrella, assorted beach bags and snorkeling equipment. Libby gets the front bench which she shares with Ethan, and we hadn’t driven more than 2 seconds, when the bus takes a corner, and Ethan goes flying off the seat. Libby’s face turned 6 shades of red as we took turns giving her hard time, accusing her of shoving him out of the seat so she could lie down, etc… It might have been made worse by the fact that a cute boy was sitting opposite her. I think if she could have vanished herself or us right then and there she would have. Poor thing. I didn’t know anyone could quite turn that shade of red; it was more like fuchsia or magenta. It really brought out the blue of her eyes though. Ethan was a trooper, he didn’t even cry, although that might have been due to shock. He did throw Libbles several hurt and accusatory glances though, and he didn’t offer to sit next to her again.
So after the bus ride, we have to wait on this narrow rickety dock and listen to this guy preach about the oil spill and bad government and how we should all follow him down to his “place” and sign his “special” petition. Ummmm….I think not. I am too worried Ethan is going to fall off the dock and I’ll have to dive into the murky fishy depths to retrieve him.
Finally the boat arrives! Away to Shell Island for the promise of snorkeling and dolphins!
I want my money back.
1) The snorkeling experience (at first) was a bit like trying to snorkel the area around my dad’s boat dock, but worse. Plus, we were getting attacked by seaweed, floating plants and other things I couldn’t even identify.
2) The waves were literally back breaking. I have no “core”, so when I get knocked down, I literally have to wait for the next wave to hit me and use the momentum in the hopes of propelling myself forward and back onto my feet before the undertow sucks me back down again where I struggle to keep my head above water as the next wave hits me and the process begins again until eventually I am able to get up.
3) It was a 3 mile hike across what felt like the Sahara to get from the place the boat docked to where we set up beach camp. Getting back was going to be a bitch.
4) We did finally find some decent snorkeling on the other side of the rocky embankment, and by the time we were done, we had swam with fish, found hermit crabs and got blisters from the flippers.
I walk back to beach camp and inform hubby it’s time to head back. All of us are worn out, and very sunburned. I head back with as much as I can carry, and I don’t stop until I reach the boat dock because I am very afraid if I stop, I won’t get started again. I wait for hubby to show up with Ethan and Emily. Finally, I see him in the distance, carrying the chairs and something else. What is that? Oh nooooooo. He’s carrying Ethan, this is gonna get really ugly. He pretty much drops Ethan a few feet from me and by this time I can hear the wailing. Poor little guy is so exhausted. He runs to the comforting arms of mommy (mean Daddy go away!) and everyone takes pity on the poor guy and tries to help cheer him up by pulling hermit crabs out of the water. That does the trick; pretty soon he is smiling again. Hubby on the other hand has put himself in time-out and isn’t speaking….to anyone. We avoid him like the plague, he could ignite upon impact. I am sure he’ll give you some sob story, don’t believe it. Ethan is 4, hubby does have a 4 in his number, but it’s the first number out of two!
So now we take the boat back to the bus and the bus back to the rental car and the rental car back to the RV. Now once we get back, the girls and I go shower. Libby and I get first dibs, then Lindsay and finally Emily. I know how impatient Lindsay gets while waiting, so I am performing a running commentary on where I am in the showering process. At one point, I holler out that I am shaving my unmentionables. There is a small silence, then Lindsay says “ummm Mom, we aren’t alone in here”. Oh. Oh my. Awesome. Mouth is shut now, and I hurry and finish and do not make eye contact as I exit the building. Libby almost drowned in the shower trying not to laugh out loud at my shame and embarrassment.
Once we are all showered and dressed, we head to The Twisted Palm for dinner. Each table has its own TV with cable, so Ethan is able to watch the Disney Channel….ahhh heaven. I can’t eat though. I might have mentioned before I have issues with using bathrooms other than my own at home. I have only “BEEN” to the bathroom once since we left, so I am feeling a little….backed up shall we say. In fact, I am to the point where I can’t even hold it back and God forbid this moment happens at the RV park with nice bathrooms, no it happens at The Twisted Palm with skanktastic public restrooms. I’ll spare you the details, but awful doesn’t begin to describe that particular adventure.
After dinner, we head to Wal-Mart, so I can buy some Motrin PM and we can get some quarters for laundry. O M G. I can’t even begin to describe the scene that awaited us. It was like a People of Wal-Mart convention (you know the website?). I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
Motrin PM = finally a decent nights sleep.
Next stop = Gulfarium