All things that have a beginning…begin. I know, extremely profound. Of course it is hard to tell exactly where our little soiree began. As my wife has so eloquently stated, did it begin with a face plant in the glass, the Flat-Screen TV going out, the Garage door spring breaking or on the actual day we left or from the moment I arrived to pick said RV? Who knows? Law of Nature #613: the week before your scheduled vacation, EVERYTHING WILL GO WRONG. I am sure there is logic embedded in there somewhere. At any rate, let us move on to the highlights of DAY 1: The “Griswold” RV vacation.
Saturday Morning: Proceed to drop off animals and pick up RV. Animal Drop = good. RV pick up = OMG!!! When we arrive, in the back of my mind, the theme song of Sanford and Son immediately starts playing. Now, I am not a snooty person, and as a budding minister I do my best to see the good in all types of people. That said; let us just say that I was well… a tad taken aback. I am not sure if this was an RV graveyard or the actual RV pick up site. I turn to my wife and see the beads of nervous sweat dropping which appeared on her forehead and come up with, “hey honey, just drop me off you don’t have to stay”. Her reply “You thought I was staying?” Well, I get dropped off at the Sanford and Son RV resort, my wife fish tales out of the drive way, and I am left with Gomer Pyle and his associates to review documents, shoot the breeze and proceed with my RV walkthrough. The walkthrough went well, and to my surprise, while not a new “as seen on the Internet” vehicle, the RV was in good condition. On to payment and drive off. As I am sitting there filling out forms, Gomer ask me for some emergency contacts. Then he proceeds to tell me he will need these in case something happens and we don’t return with the RV… like “going camping and getting mauled by cougars or other wild animals”. Yes he said that. After this little Karma mud pie, Gomer then reminds me that the onboard fire extinguisher is really on there to, “get my family out in the case of a deadly fire”. Oh there is more…he then informs me that should the RV catch fire it will ignite and burn at an alarming rate and the toxic fumes from the plastic burning will blind me and make it impossible to save anyone trapped inside… REALLY?! SERIOUSLY?! Thanks again for Karma mud pie # 2.!!! Just keep smiling… Just keep smiling.
Saturday Afternoon: RV is loaded and we are on the road!! Yeee HAAAWWWW! Now, I love my wife. Let me start with that. I really do Love my wife. I can also state that I have read my wife’s entry upon this writing and feel like I must say only one thing. Honey, you’re RIGHT! I am sorry for driving in a manner that made you nervous, scared or at times delivered you to the brink of a nervous breakdown. That said, the aversion you seem to have against the color red scares me a tad. And yes, while there have been some incidents involving bridges in the past… I can assure you that 98% of the time, bridges will operate as designed and we will not fall off in to the abyss below.
Saturday Evening: Ok it is late, we are not really lost (as a man I will NOT admit to being lost), but we are not really sure if we are going the right way either. Add to this, we are all hot, tired and desire creature comforts. So the boss (that is my wife) makes a decision: TO THE HOTEL NOW! I give my assent to this stroke of genius and on the first night of our “RV” trip we enjoy a comfortable night inside the domain of a Marriott hotels.. ahhhhh!!
More to follow. Next stop: Biloxi, MS.